On outgrowing old wineskins…
Here’s the thing about growing...
It may be easy to assume it is an unavoidable or imposed process more than a chosen one. But in my experience, true and lasting and meaningful growth rarely happens without our permission. Also, in the moment, it doesn’t always feel very good, which is probably why we are apt to opt out.
Yes, there are things that happen to us, outside of our control. We are often required to face things we wouldn’t and didn’t choose. But even still, it is a decision to say “yes” to allowing them to do their good work. Or, as I believe, to allowing God to do good work on us through them.
Over the course of my life, I’ve come to more fully understand the kindness of God revealed both through a fervent unwillingness to leave us as we are, AND a faithful willingness to leave us alone if we want to remain where we are. God will always invite us into being molded, but will never coerce us to agree.
I think of the rich young ruler1 who preferred his moral, comfortable life over the messy, Kingdom life — he wanted to follow the law, but did not want to sacrifice for a life apprenticeship with the God-Man who was its embodied fulfillment. And I think of how I can be just like him: content to settle and stay as I am rather than courageous enough to surrender, and see what more I could become. And in love, God lets us have our way.
I wish I could say that my “yeses” are never paired with a little kicking and screaming — I can be very stubborn, so let’s not pretend I always happily and immediately “leave my net, and follow Him.”2 Quite often, I bargain and ask all sorts of questions to make sure I know what I’m signing up for; or, I attempt to negotiate my way out of the harder work; or, I simply offer handfuls of excuses for why I can’t sign up, and then “walk away grieving.”3
But one thing I can say is this: when I have remained tender, open and willing to be pulled apart at the seams to let God lead and remake me on the way, I have never been disappointed in the end. Perhaps a little worn and threadbare, but never disappointed. And always stronger and better equipped for continued growing.
Maybe all this is what Jesus meant when He said:
“No one rips up a new garment to make patches for an old, worn-out one. If you tear up the new to make a patch for the old, it would not match the old garment. And who pours new wine into an old wineskin? If someone did, the old wineskin would burst and the new wine would be lost. New wine must always be poured into new wineskins. Yet you say, ‘The old ways are better, and you refuse to even taste the new wine that I bring.’”4
God is too kind to keep us in old wineskins; but God is also too kind to force us out of them...
That’s a crazy kind of love, don’t you think?
Matthew 19:16-22
Matthew 4:18-22
Matthew 19:22
Luke 5:36-39
Just was thinking about this in relation to encouraging a young person in responding to challenges that would lead to growth. Thanks for more food for thought.